did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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