3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
