That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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