I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
