We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
third nipple confirmed
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
