i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
