I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
