Is it normal to miss your booty call?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
