sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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