you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I have already put on my inside pants.
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