Christians are straight up FREAKS
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
