did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So vagazzling was a success
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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