i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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