My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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