My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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