did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
