btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
