just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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