So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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