I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
