Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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