I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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