My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
