Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
