Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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