i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
