Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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