i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
