just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
