He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
