The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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