Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
