I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
