I bet he comes in French.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
