new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
