This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
