Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
there was a trapeze. enough said
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
