My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
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