i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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