we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
