i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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