Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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