Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
