I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
