Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
