I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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