My nipple is on Facebook.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
