his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
