32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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