She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
