Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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